So this weekend I had a great time connecting with and visiting one of my three older brothers. As a group, my siblings and I have some pressing family business and decisions that need to be addressed. My brother admonished me about the fact that I hate having telephone discussions, and also pointed out that my oldest brother hates emails.
“Between the two of you refusing to either answer the phone or open an email message, it’s no wonder it takes us seven years to make a decision.”
So, he’s right. I didn’t argue. Given the facts that we all have intense jobs and are raising families and we are far apart from one another, technology should be saving us time and helping us connect. But it is not helping us to resolve some of these big decisions.
But it’s not just about our preferred communication channels or stubborn habits. It’s hard to make decisions or reach conclusions about weighty issues when people are not located in the same geographic region. Some things, including many business issues, are just best addressed in meetings, face to face.
Over the past 20 years, in every one of my positions, nothing has ever replaced sitting down, in person, with a colleague, team member, or client. Yes, the old cliché rings true — it really is so nice to put a face with a name and a voice — but that makes it sound like personal meetings are a “luxury”. I argue that face-to-face meetings are a necessity. Why?
- It’s very difficult to build a rapport, loyalty, or trust with a disengaged voice or an email address. And these three elements are essential to a genuine team approach and to successfully reaching mutual goals.
- If there are any conflicts or misunderstandings surrounding a project, very little is truly resolved — and mutual understanding rarely achieved — over the phone or through digital means. Body language and visual cues are often key to resolving conflict or miscommunication.
- Have you ever been inspired, or developed a deep respect of someone, through email or on a conference call? Respect is one of those characteristics you develop when someone’s entire “being” is experienced. And respect drives success.
- Often face-to-face meetings yield additional work, deeper understandings, or tangible results. By tangible results, I mean a clear “to do” list or even “lessons learned.”
This is not to say that every contact has to be or should be, a personal meeting. Travel expenses, busy schedules, or even a history of ineffective meetings, make this unrealistic and costly. Personal get-togethers are best when held at distinct or certain intervals in a project or business relationship, for example:
- During consideration of retaining the services of an outside specialist;
- At project kickoff;
- Immediately before a major event or milestone/deadline;
- During a conflict or phase of frustration or challenge with a project or team member(s);
- Routine status meetings can keep a project moving forward and resist stagnation; and
- As a “wrap-up” or at the conclusion of a major project or work activity.
Once a project team “gels” or relationships are already established, face-to-face meetings can become less frequent.
Meetings are not brain surgery — but they can keep a project and project team focused, cohesive, and yield accomplishments. Tips for running effective meetings are easily found on the Internet, and of course there are many meeting/scheduling tools that help too. What cannot be mechanized, however, are the personal exchanges, team building, professional respect, and sometimes (if you’re lucky), a solid take-out meal that often accompany a good meeting.
Anyway, I’ve certainly had my share of “meetings” during the dinner hour with my three older brothers while growing up in Connecticut. Distance and scheduling issues prevent us from having the face-to-face contact we need these days. It looks like I’ve got settle for a good ol’ fashioned conference call — so we can try to get some decisions made.
